i am afraid not of thunder, but the rain

as a child, there's nothing i hoped for more than the rain to stop. the edges of our roof leaked, bringing water down the walls. basins would not have been effective in collecting all the water so we'd put rags and cloth on the floor against the wall hoping it would be enough. sometimes it would, but when powerful typhoons came and the roof's condition got worse, we'd constantly have to mop the floors while the water came pouring down, ruining the paint and leaving bubbles of water between it and the concrete. at times, this would go on for hours and we'd have to move around the furniture and deal with the overwhelming influx of dirty rainwater. it always left a smell of a mix of rust, concrete, dusty rags, and wilted leaves. i was terrified every time, imagining the house filling up with the cold, dirty water and my arms would be too tired from the continuous mopping to try and escape swimming. i never learned how to swim anyway. i couldn't understand how people outside the AM radio didn't loathe the rainy weather because it always meant that i would get wet inside my own home and would smell like what i've described. the roof getting fixed a few years later was what i considered to be the best thing to happen to my life at the time. i've since moved to a different house with no leaks, but in the back of my head, i still feel anxious when it starts to rain.